try ngee-ing the alphabet.

Monday, July 31, 2006


Sometimes you may find things that seems to be fun on the outside, and perhaps fun in the inside too, but as time goes by, you might find it a waste of time and a heavy burden to carry. HAVEN is the perfect example for this, super fun and enjoyable at the starting, but the missing school part isnt just what we all wanted. With one whole week of philharmonic gone, missing more school and being dismissed past the schedule time just ARGHHH.. dont know what to say. I am quite disappointed with the space/ sitting arrangement in the pit, a bit squeezy only and everytime just keep poking zab, one time nearly into the eye. That M.R guy just created a scratch mark in my new bow, sue him? And most of the time, we were wasting our TIME, leave class at 10.30 for what when we are starting at 12.30. ZZZ. And most of the time they are working with the cast, sian, not very good planning indeed, maybe the teachers think that we like to skip classes - WHICH I MUST SAY IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS...Shouldn't complain so much, afterall it isnt a production by professionals. Just a whole bunch of ameteurs like me being put together to come up with this musical. Of course there are quite a number of good people in the cast, and the rhythm section too..
Met Poh Soon Kai just before i went back, complete ownage man. So fun, with his power English talking. He used the language to bully me, and then still say i short- circuit. But maybe i am. Forgot which hall i live in le, said 14 at first but in actual fact is hall 13. Then i was like saying, kick my violin case $65, my violin $3.5k, my bow $400 and then he immediately say, kick you - priceless .. =.=! and a lot more lar, about the things he did before going to the airport last year, and so on. The best part is that i found out he is from ACSI for the past 4 years. I somehow had an impression of him coming from Nan hua, which in actual fact he came from Nan Hua PRIMARY SCHOOL. Then i still learnt that he is GEP living in the world of his own, cus for the past few years, both of us living in Boon lay never met at all.. OWNAGE
Sleep now, just missed a floorball game with the uni students cus of HAVEN.. aircon coming in tomorrow, cant wait. and smile =P

my anchor my shelter my haven

the end of school today felt mildly melancholic

the light drizzle didnt help but contribute to the mood

perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, that i wasnt involved in haven

but somehow some part of me wishes i was in it

oh well.

at least He's always there.

looking forward to it though :)

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Philharmonic Orchestra

Most of you have heard what it sounded like yesterday. Now i cant wait for the recording of us. In my opinion, its actually great from where we are seating =P except that the hall was not in favour for us(violinists). Thanks for the feedback during the intermission, that you cant hear us at all, so we sort of played much louder at areas which says pp and so on, hopefully it will work and im sure it did. I love beethoven, especially the last movement, made us go high, especially the second violins with the most amount of tremelo, so its a serious test of stamina, and i can see zab panting like half way through, but at least we made it through without any serious mistakes. I did smile lar, its that everytime you look at me im not smiling thats all =P, but im sort of nervous but not scared at the beginning of m5, but afterthat it was okay le.. Thanks for doing the necessary things to let the section stay together. Good job to the rest of you too. And i enjoyed the supper too, with porridge's laughter and the mass bullying austin peh with his brother having pleasure in taking photographs of that..
The new batch of university students just checked-in yesterday, and they woked me up at 7 this morning with all their cheering as they are still having the oreintation camp which will last all the way until 8 aug. Getting to know most of them isnt an easy task, but im sure there will be some nice people out there like the last batch. My parents' room had a new air-con and i didnt even realise about it until they were like talking about it last night. Mine is coming in during the next few days, yay.
Got to go really soon, will be back only in the evening. But i think i need to start on my work or else i will never finish it as we are missing A LOT of school next week too. Hope HAVEN will be a success like philharmonic. Hopefully. Take care and rest well, its not over yet. Supper after HAVEN, anyone? =P smile

history is made!


Praise God from whom all blessings flow. History has been made; the Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) Philharmonic Orchestra has been officially launched tonight! With great success in Mendelssohn and Beethoveen's 5th symphonies!

We made it!!! And we never played better than tonight!

Good job to everyone. (: It was a blast! Hope all of u enjoyed it. Cos i miss it already!


Supper was fun too. Hershey's pie + oli's lame jokes abt being "man lee" + fraser's funny expressions. haha. GG. And i cant wait for the next concert already!

Nvm. there's haven.

ame is living a fairytale and never wants to wake up xD

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Oh Lord, may the music glorify you alone.

Help us to play for your glory Lord.

Friday, July 28, 2006

a final msg for u guys

Hey all members of acs(i) phil! The time is drawing near and we have a final mile more to tread. I know we're all tired, especially the haven orch ppl; but i pray that all of u will preserve urselves, and conserve energy for tmr, as much as u can. In other words, GO AND SLEEP. rest. R-E-S-T. haha. Tomorrow's our big day, our debut concert. There might be much pressure on all of us, especially the section leaders, but i just wanted to remind u guys abt our real purpose of all the rehearsing and practising. And that is to bring home a priceless musical experience. To simply make music to enjoy, to entertain, to praise God. Some of u might have homework problems, relationship problems, problems at home; but i pray that u will put all these aside for awhile and celebrate the musical talent that God has blessed u with by playing ur best at tmr's concert. Just to give it ur best shot, pay attention, listen and watch. Whether we make major mistakes tmr or not, i do not know. But we just have to whack la, and God will do the rest.

After all, 'Our mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing."

To the first vlns
Bryan, well done. Keep up the good work of playing every note perfectly, because i think u're the only one in our section (excluding the ex-acs and mdc ppl) who can actually accomplish that feat! Thanks for cueing us in when we were lost as well. For the rest, i only have a few words. haha. First, LISTEN to the timpani. and the rest of the orch to at least know whats going on. Second, NEVER rush at all costs. Thirdly, play loudly and with confidence, like a pro. Think pro. And CONCENTRATE. we have come a long way from stumbling on the running notes of mendelssohn to staying together as a section, so we cant give up now! Do ur best! xD

To the second vlns
Zab, our dear porridge tail green! Keep up the good work of cueing and keeping the section together. Yanny also. Thx yanny for doing a good job at supporting zab and for so faithfully counting the many bars of rests (haha!). I'm sure everyone in ur section will sound pro with front desk ppl like u all! But the section cannot function without the rest of its members as well. To the rest, pls rmb to LISTEN to the others and look up to watch mr chan and ur section leaders. And follow them. everything would be fine then. Think pro!

To the violas
Oli and Chris, a job well done as viola section leaders cum president and vice-president! It hasnt been easy ya, coordinating a million and one things and organising everything else. And practising the parts and playing during rehearsals as well! ahhh we wouldnt be able to manage without u. Nice sound too....ur section is not bad at all. Loved the mendelssohn opening today. Totally heavenly. Loved the 4th mvt melody too (: well done! keep this up for tmr and we'll own. wahaha.

To the cellos
Cellos! u all own la! haha. Josh, u have improved so so much i am shocked. I still rmb that day in the music room, u were the only one that could play the fugato perfectly! I was thoroughly impressed by ur skill and the huge amt of hard work u put into making this concert possible for the cello section. You guys have come a long way indeed. rmb the days when beethoven seemed impossible and mendelssohn was a killer? These days are all gone and the difficulties have been conquered in 2-3 mths! So i just ask for u guys to show off ur talent tmr night and WOW the audience as much as u have wow-ed me x) Can do? haha.

To the double basses
Yes yes i havent forgotten u, haha. Like the cellos, i feel that u guys have improved as well. So i just ask for u all to give ur best, and play as if every note counts. Just listen and pay attention, and everything will be fine. :)

All right. the time is near! hahaha i'm excited, and i think all of u should be as well. After all, we are playing fantastic and exciting pieces, and what greater joy is there than to praise the Lord with out music? Even as the hour draws near, i ask for all of ur prayers to preserve each member in the orchestra, as well as mr chan.

One last thing: bring banana!

To God be the glory, the best is yet to be.

One more day to concert..

Okay, i have a lot of things to say, but i guessed that i need to rest now. So will give a more detailed version like 2 days later =)
Philharmonic orch is sounding real good i must say, after the joining of the professional players, we sort of became pro. HEHE. but today was just amazing, with the string size which is comparatively huge for a school orch, we sounded like *WOW*. "there are better ways of chasing a girl".. hmm, dont get it wrong hor, all of you out there, we were just playing with syllabus, like pam pee-pee(for the flute) - M5 starting, and baaaam, bam, bee-bum for allegro con fuoco, m5 for strings. and so on, thats why she cant stop laughing.. my bad. nvm.
HAVEN is getting to look better, all i feel is that they shouldnt waste so much of the orchestra time since we were like stoning for most of the time today as they worked on the cast and sort of daoed us.. they should settle their things first before getting us in, i think that's the more effecient way.. For those that haven't visited the new CPA before, it's indeed really professional with us being lowered until you wont be able to see my face =) the lights, sound and so on.
Sleeping now, its 11.06. At least my father fetched me back today, feel as if im flying, reached home in such a short time.. Good luck to all(and me) for the concert tomorrow, hope that you all will enjoy it too. =) and smile always =P

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

another attempt at poetry. attempt? definitely. feeble? maybe.

i've been feeling rather emo-ly poetic lately. might be because of the late nights and the lethargy? i should be sleeping right now but no hoho o losh is up in front of the computer writing poems. great.

here goes?

ok im stuck.

lets try again.

a droplet, cascading
down the smooth surface
with a pale beige hue

embitterment, hidden
unfound in the bloodpump
locked away

who only knows, but
Thou art omnipotent God
His love never fails

peace, transcending
floods the red muscle

oh the joy, of
finding the greatest love
of all

nothing else matters, if
only the chains will
be broken

the hurt, depressed
set free instead
clouds of joy in place

the rainbow, ever shining
after the rain
then warmth of sunshine

overwhelms all, nothing
is ever the same
again with Him

i pray.

Psalm 147:3

Monday, July 24, 2006

Same as before

Today, hmm. Charity Cafe, P.E, some jazz dance item, HAVEN rehearsal. Learnt my lesson from last year about the cafe thingy. Shouldnt even put in so much effort all when you know that it will go to waste in the end. Especially when i know i'm going to miss a lot of lesson, its not wise to skip even more classes today. Finally its a monday again. Only soccer on monday (that's the bottomline), the rest of the days if im playing = illegal. lol. that's what my parents say. I have been trying very hard to cut down on this sport le.. Understood at last that if you are not fit enough you will get a lot of injuries. 6 cuts(abrasion), bruise on my calf and shoulder and a mild sprain.( and i saw most of my injuries only after i reached home) Sian. lol. At least for that 1 hour i enjoyed myself although i was super tired after that. Jazz item is cool, or at least the entertainment and educational value is there. Haven was the best part of the day. First time i was looking forward for this rehearsal. Dont know why also. At least there will be more coming up to brighten my day =P the bah bah black sheep, the nahnay, porridge etc...
Shua you first time writing poem ah. Not bad i must say, a bit emo though. So many rumours going around about me. Please dont belive in any unless i told you personally.. If you hear from someone and that someone said its from me, its most probably untrue(like 90% untrue at least). At least i know what am i doing, or maybe not.. But there's always a reason to smile for, and thats the best part of life =D Take care guys, wont be blogging for at least 5 days.. see ya then

Sunday, July 23, 2006

a feeble attempt at poetry

a broken spirit
and a contrite heart
You will not despise

pangs of hurt
tears of untruths
flood the heart

only He can make us whole
mend our brokenness
satisfy the soul

strings of notes
an escapade
melodious tones ring

draw us back
when we drift away
from You

friends are valued
yet the fact holds truest
Jesus is my best friend

alas, the things of earth
will fade away
and everything is meaningless

in Him alone we trust
His word will remain
God is in control

but how hard it is
to picture this perspective
even as we know it

but for now
pain is contended
trials inevitable

through these, in time
we learn to consider
it pure joy

look to Him
in uncertainty
for He does all things well

Sick and Tired(like Chung)

Ushering was tiring yesterday, maybe its because we were wearing blazer in that kind of weather, which made me feel super uncomfortable. And we were there at 1 all the way until 10. That means i have been wearing that crappy shirt for 9 hours. The primary school afternoon show ushering was super sian also, especially when only around 50% of the participating schools turn up, and when we have like 8 usherers doing stall duty, which means that most of us are just decorating items =) The only consolation was by reading the feedback they wrote regarding the concert. It clearly reflected and reminded on what we were at 12 years old. One of them wrote a super long essay, saying there should be musical chairs, and that people with big heads should sit at the back =.= another wrote “How do you expect us to write when its so dim” obviously he was contradicting himself since he managed to write that sentence... somebody also requested for better pencils, fyi, i brought home quite a lot, i think close to a 100 pencils so that i can bring for orch rehearsal which is tomorrow. PENCILMEN =) Performances were average i must say, and the most disappointing ones were the RI string quintet and Joy’s solo performance(since i feel that the piece is too hard for her techniques) There were some nice ones too i must say, the nutcracker by Tchaikovsky and the combine orchestra pieces. Of course zab, chen yi, joshua and shane did perform quite well too. Porridge Tail green, muahaha.
Just woke up from a nap, think im already sick since it says 37.8 degrees celsius on my thermometer. Maybe i never drink enough water yesterday, but i didnt know im so weak also, jia lat. Next week havent even started yet and im already sick. At least violin lesson made me forget my pain for that short time, but still, aiyah shouldnt think about it so much. I want a lower bridge, higher fingerboard, new tuning pegs and new violin case(white and light and waterproof). But all very expensive, so i still need to wait. zzz. Time to chiong homework, didnt realise i’m going to miss so much lesson for the next two weeks. Take care guys(or should i be saying this to myself first). and smile =P

Saturday, July 22, 2006

eyes that plead.

Earlier today at 6am i was yanked outta bed because i had to accompany my mum to the hospital to treat the sharp pain she felt at her heel during a tennis game last night. It was totally unexpected as i didnt know i would have to go until i was yanked outta bed. So i was sleepy the whole day.

Imagine. Mdm endoscopy going round the hospital she has worked in for 20 years, this time as a patient. With many people stopping her along the way (nurses, doctors, receptionists, etc) to ask her what happened to her this time. haha. Apparently my mum is notorious for tennis-related injuries. She sprained her hip the last time. Now its the heel. haha.

But i was sleepy the whole day. Dozing off while waiting at the bone clinic. Dozing off at the x-ray centre. Finding myself back again at the bone clinic and dozing off again.

Then i was watching CNN on the hospital tv. The tv was muted, but from what i could see, they were broadcasting on the israel-lebanon war. Then the camera zoomed in on a baby, hardly a few months' old, having bright red patches on his skin. He was burnt. and he was wailing. His mother picked him up and tears were flowing as well. Then the camera zoomed in on her eyes.

The eyes that tell a thousand words of innocence, remorse, suffering, hopelessness. The eyes that plead.

I was quite disturbed. I still have the image of the eyes in my head. However, i cant do anything to help her. she was so far away...


Eat ur oranges and they heal ur ulcers
Eat a bittergourd and u've tasted love.


I reached home at 11.30 yesterday, which wasnt what i had expected. but nvm, these were the things that happen yesterday...
HAVEN sort of started at 2.10 when it was supposed to start at 12.40, thanks to the "professional" players they hired. They can't even come on time de. No wonder the drummer can rush and give beats that are not steady. Zab was like writing my new name(nahnay) all over the score, and just random stuffs so that we wont sleep as its sort of boring. She got a new name too, Porridge Tail Green(Direct translation of her chinese name), muahaha. I only like 2 pieces out of don't know how many. The remaining ones are just normal lar. Hopefully it will sound and look impressive with the cast.
BOTB was nice, and fun. Duty was average, performances were ultra high, and the atmosphere was really good. Shua will agree with me =). Cresecent girls band was the most disappointing de. 2 vocalists singing in 2 diferent keys, and then 2 guitarist in another key, that makes it poly-tonal? Second song the girl playing the piano(i supposed we can call her a keyboardist) didnt even switched on her power =.=but at least they have quite a lot of supporters...TK vocalist's good, violinist was doubling the melody in the same octave, and not in tune, which basically just spoiled everything. Deluge was owning nicely, power drummer and nice guitarist, except the vocalist wasn't as powerful, but overall performance was good. Barker had super duple lot of supporters, which made crowd control a bit difficult especially when most of them refused to listen to us. Barker's band was another super good one, and the vocalist was good. Only bad thing is that the lead guitarist never tune his guitar properly, and that the drummer got weaker towards the ending, not enough stamina perhaps. ACS international's band was above average, but just lack the punch in it, and i must say they have the least number of supporters...
So the results came and CG got 5th, International 4th which i didnt expect that, TK 3rd, my class's band 2nd, quite sad, and barker first. But its okay, good experience i must say for them. while barker band played their closing winning song, one of the amps nearly caught fire, it was smoking like mad, and all of us could smell burning metal. Too high le. And after this thing was over, there was a gang fight(if im not wrong) at the new parade square there, where the police were called in. Dunno who started it de, but i think it wasnt that serious, as in no one got injured.. 3 cheers for deluge. =P
Smile always. Ushering duty at 2 for mep concert today. see you later...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

my turn now.

3 3 3

3 names you go by: wah got alot. three most common? yofats, losh, lokey. and josh/ua of course.
3 parts of your heritage: HA. SHANGHAINESE. cool anot. singaporean of course. and acsian :D
3 things that scare you: some creepy crawlies. total darkness. horror movies.
3 everyday essentials: handphone. wallet. music. iPod? maybe.
3 things you are wearing now: look at oli's answer
3 favourite bands: avalon, casting crowns, zoegirl (paul baloche, chris tomlin, corrinne may too)
3 favourite songs: too many to list. haha.
3 of your favourite songs(non-lyrical): bach double, saintsaens cello concerto, haydn cello concerto in C
3 of your favourite colours: cyan orange dark purple
3 things you want in a relationship besides love: God, trust, tolerance. but i concur with oli.
2 truths and a lie(not in order): i have a guitar, i have a cello, i have a piano X)
3 things about the opposite sex that appeals to you: loves God, eyes, smile.
3 of your favourite hobbies: cycling, reading, playing the guitar. (havent cycled for a long time though)
3 of your favourite ice-cream flavours: vanilla! tiramisu, rum and raisin
3 things you want really badly now: go to a faraway place and grow closer to God. slack on a beach. CELLO :(
3 places you want to go on vacation: somewhere where there is clear blue water and beach. australia, london X)
3 things you want to do before you die: be a chef. go travelling to faraway places and learn about their cultures. record an album.
3 of my favourite friends: no favourite friends, quite a few close ones, and I thank God for every one of them :)
3 of people who have changed me quite a bit: dont really know, but I think ultimately is God who changes us.
3 things i want to learn/ learning: live by faith for God. bass guitar. be able to cook good stuff.
3 fears: God. i guess there is nothing else to fear.
3 things that i will treasure most for quite a long time: friends, family, memories.
3 people i would like to see take this quiz: no one. its pretty time consuming lol. but i guess it makes you think about certain things that you dont usually think about.

Is helping people a mistake?

This is what happen just now, like 45 mins ago.
I was on bus 199, boarded from boon lay with a group of NIE teachers(should be teachers cus of the stuff they say). 4 males, 3 females and no one knows how to get to NIE which is actually inside NTU. So i decided to be nice and approach a male and give him directions while the rest spam smsses in which i think none came back. I was like telling him 3-5 stops after i alight, since NIE is quite a big place. Immediately after i say that, some son of his parents said this"acs de, dont know if should believe or not". Nice insult number 1, right in my face somemore, nice singaporean accent too. I mean acs so what, they may think that more "pai kiahs" come out from there, i dont think other schools are much better, even the best schools in singapore. Nevermind, at least i controlled myself or else someone will be flying out of the bus. Worst thing is that once the bus entered NTU, they said it was a ULU place, nobody at all.(i take that as an insult too, since after living for 16 years in there, its like indirectly insulting me) Please look at the watch, it says 4.00, students are obviously having lessons. And even if they aren't you expect them to walk along the road so that the whole NTU won't be so ULU meh. Furthermore, its just the entrance only, we havent even reach the academic blocks. its just normal hostel rooms. So the smart group of people decided to turn back. FYI there's no such thing as turning back, since the route inside is a loop, that means its a one way direction, and there's only a service bus which is 199. Despite my furthur persusion, they still think im giving the wrong direction. Oo, 16 year old acsi boy, which says senior prefect on my badge, shirt tucked in, with no anke length socks and they still dont want to believe me. Too bad, they got owned. I bet they are still lost somewhere and regretting for not listening to me. I mean just sit on the bus for slightly longer before you can see the 3 alphabets which goes NIE. and who on earth will want to give wrong directions to you. Low EQ, low IQ, and never think before speaking. Is helping people a mistake?
HAVEN rehearsel tomorrow, followed by BOTB duty. Deluge all the best. Ushering duty on sat from 2-10. next whole week of rehearsels everyday, some lasting for 10 hours? and then the folowwing week haven preformance. I must be superman if i never fall sick. Hopefully i wont, and neither will i want to. God bless all =P and smile

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

my 3 things.

Here are my three things.

3 names to go by: ame, amimi, ameeeeeeeeeeeeelia
3 parts of ur heritage: hainan island, hainanese chicken rice, my genes
3 things that scare u: insects, some ppl, horror movies
3 everyday essentials: air, food, water ( haha. music, musical instruments, handphone)
3 favourite bands: switchfoot, five for fighting, corrine may
3 favourite songs: 24 by switchfoot, Everything in its Time by corrine may, Amie by damien rice
3 favourite non-lyrical songs: Bruch's violin concerto in D minor! Sinding suite, Mendelssohn's violin concerto in E minor
3 favourite colours: lime green! baby blue, yellow
3 things u want in a relationship besides love: honesty, tolerance, initiative (for the right things only)
2 truths and a lie: i like music, i have no siblings, i'm looking forward to UK
3 things abt the opposite sex that appeals to u: personality/character, smile, eyes
3 favourite hobbies: making music, playing badminton, going to the beach
3 favourite ice-cream flavours: cookies and cream, chocolate, vanilla
3 things i want badly: a holiday, a dream come true, more songs in my ipod
3 places to go on vacation: maldives, dubai, switzerland
3 things to do before i die: tell the ppl i love that i love them so much, give my money to charitable organisations, sign the organ donation form


3 names you go by: oli, magngeeto, gynae
3 parts of your heritage: I am SINGAPOREAN. will always be.
3 things that scare you: myself, and what i'm capable of when i'm not careful. big red ants.
3 of your everyday essentials: many things are essential... but God is the first. my close friends come next, and then its music.
3 things you are wearing now: guys usually only wear three things...
3 of your favourite bands: i'm not into bands...
3 of your favourite songs: i dont listen to songs... and i dont have favourite Christian songs cos they all speak to me in different situations...
3 of your favourite songs(non-lyrical): for now? mendelssohn's 3rd, brahms viola sonata no.2, dvorak's 8th
3 of your favourite colours: to be honest, i've gone beyond favourite colours... things appeal to me for different reasons, at different times.
3 things you want in a relationship besides love: love embodies it all... but 3 things? God, fun! and absolute transparency.
2 truths and a lie(not in order): i'm ok, i have a dumb viola exam tmr, and i have 2 guitars at home.
3 things about the opposite sex that appeals to you: i have no idea. just be a friend... that certainly appeals to me.
3 of your favourite hobbies: conducting (dunno if this counts as a hobby), viola, birdwatching (which i havent done in ages)
3 of your favourite ice-cream flavours: macadamia nut, chocolate, vanilla
3 things you want really badly now: go back to the beach. be close to God. a friend? by my side.
3 places you want to go on vacation: new zealand (again), fraser's hill, malaysia (again) and canada.
3 things you want to do before you die: conduct extensively somewhere? get my life sorted out before Him, and do whatever he wants me to.
3 of my favourite friends: favourite? i rather use the word 'closest'. therefore, in no order, JT, joshua loke, joshua hoe(he might not know it).
3 of people who have changed me quite a bit: do ppl change me? or do i change myself? most recently, ame, dr. yeo, joash ee.
3 things i want to learn/ learning: conducting (few oppurtunities to practise though), violin or cello? and to control myself. rather, let God control me.
3 fears: and i reemphasise, MYSELF.
3 things that i will treasure most for quite a long time: my friends. the times in AC, my friends again.
3 people i would like to see take this quiz: i dunno. i would encourage you NOT to take this quiz. its silly and you dont get to say what you really want to.


Shua, your first sentence was like... the title gave it away le, not fun =P Try harder, and i think the cello you are using just now was super cool, the colour and the sound. Never see Ying Hao's cello before, maybe about the same sia.. My violin+case+bow+everything else inside the case is probably worth like 4k? LOL. I think he is just crazy lar. Buy le somemore dont want to bring to school, put at home and collect dust only =)
~ <--This divider thing is nice,effective and cool.
Cavatina sounded really nice today, especially if you all heard the second time i played it, with Wilford and John Tay trying to distract me, but i think it sounded AWESOME(nice word). Kabelevsky needs a bit of work on the tempo and tempo only, the rest is fine. So just keep trying.. I have faith in you, always. Plus, time is on our side, prelims MEP O level is Sept and O's close to November. Bach double violin concerto is the one that needs hyper drilling in it, didnt realise its that hard actually, since the timing is so regular, and at the same time need to have that driving rhythm feel, but not rush, and dynamics, intonation, coordination needs to be perfect and perfect only.. John tay work harder please, i will work harder too.. =P Thanks ame for your time, and John tay's one too.. Now im thinking of doing terzetto for my second piece with tay. Hard but not impossible.
God sees my heart as well as my hurts
Never will i leave you; never will i forsake you - Hebrews 13:5

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

have i become apathetic?

a little celloing again

ah. it never felt more pleasing to the fingers. the body to the legs.

my cello, of course. what were you thinking. :P

days after not playing, it took a little while for things to get flowing again. a little practice needed for that oh so familiar semiquaver passage in the mendelssohn. but well everything came back to the fingers, thankfully. muaha.

and ah caprice no. 24 sounds nice on the cello you know. too bad im not pro enough.

there goes my night.

and its time to sleep.

3 things

hmm, go read he asked me to do this thingy de, so i shall just write it, since i dont really have anything to do right now, besides playing the violin.

3 names you go by: Yanhan, hamilton/hammy(its the same), bombchanka
3 parts of your heritage:?? I have no idea what's this question's about.. Chinese? erm, humans?
3 things that scare you: Heifetz(the violinist), a gun in my head, my finger bleeding
3 of your everyday essentials: violin, wallet, hand phone
3 things you are wearing now: NOW? brother bear t-shirt =P, pants with dont know what brand, and my undies?? Are you wearing more than 3 things now?
3 of your favourite bands: deluge, F.I.R, 五月天
3 of your favourite songs: untitled by simple plan, 请您相信我 by Pin Guan, 童话 by Guang Liang (its a bit chinese, but that's me..)
3 of your favourite songs(non-lyrical): beethoven 5th, kablevesky violin converto first movement, Kriesler - Sarasate.
3 of your favourite colours: blue, black, green
3 things you want in a relationship besides love: happiness, trustworthiness, honesty
2 truths and a lie(not in order): im in love with my violin, im having a crush, i have 24 soft-toys on my bed...
3 things about the opposite sex that appeals to you: smile, eyes, maturity
3 of your favourite hobbies: violin, piano, soccer
3 of your favourite ice-cream flavours: mango, cookie and cream, mocha
3 things you want really badly now: courage for my weakerself, a new violin, God
3 places you want to go on vacation: New Zealand- south island, Japan, any European country
3 things you want to do before you die: perform at least a live-performance in front of an average sized crowd, married the Christian way, have a masters degree in anything
3 of my favourite friends(year 4): John Foo, Seng Tiong, John Tay( the john's are owning)
3 of people who have changed me quite a bit(as compared to last year): chris, bryan, ame
3 things i want to learn/ learning: drums, web-page design, conducting
3 fears: POD, failures, God
3 things that i will treasure most for quite a long time: violin, time spent in chamber orch, MY DIARY!!
3 people i would like to see take this quiz: the 3 who contributes to this blog, that will be ame, joshua and oli.
That's all. Shouldnt spent so much time on the computer now, especially when there are 2 performances coming up in the next 2 weeks, and 5 class tests, including the dreadful oral commentary, practical tests, IHS report paper, Chinese etc. I will rest my fingers for 2 weeks after HAVEN, then after that it will be full steam ahead until end of MEP O level. Maths class was ultra funny today, cus i think we pissed the teacher off too much until he cant think, so he went (5+1) divide by 2 = 2. then box and whisker statistic thingy, he tried to remember the values of the ungrouped data, so he decided to go to the back of the class and memorise everything, but then he missed out the last number. then the class was like aiyoh sir you missed out nummber 12, then i went aiyah, people short memory cant remeber so many things de, especially when he want to act pro.. Oops, shouldnt have said that. Sorry sir =P i dont know how to think before i speak de, thats why last year keep getting into trouble, trying to change though.
Violin time =)

Monday, July 17, 2006


I only had two lessons today, and it was math and music. Bio and history teacher were absent, so u can imagine how bored i was before and after lunch. But it was good time spent staring at the green fields outside the principal's office, watching alison and rong prance around on the plastic grass that never corrodes.

I wrote this during history lesson to kill time.


The things i see
are in children's faces,
in the green of nature,
in Your knowing eyes.

The things i see
they are marred with the grey
of the earth
slowly decaying, fading.

But in the things i see
there is a hope
In their faces,
there is a hope
that rests in Your knowing eyes.
And so i rest in that Truth.


Today's music lesson was the going through of common tests. I don't know how i will do anymore, haha. Because i missed out quite alot of stuff, esp. on the contextual side of the question. Oh well, but He giveth and taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. That's what i learnt in chapel today.

To bryan: well done! we're all proud of u. mugging paid off after all. keep it up!

I finally understand

I finally understand that not all things will happen in the manner or fashion we expect it to be. Thus we will usually get angry about these things, which is not necessary at all. Why add to the stress and pressure we are already going true?
I finally understand more meanings to life. What is it worth smiling for, and more importantly what is it worth living for. Its like a maths puzzle, with lots of unanswered questions waiting for you to find the answers yourself. Although this process will give you much more problems in the end, its the joy that we experienced during this time that is worth smiling for. The friends that we make, the things that we learn and the experience we gained...
I finally understand that perserverance and hardworking is not, will not and should not be the way to success. Practising the violin for up to 10 hours a day might be termed as hardworking, but if there isn't an aim or a target, the things that we achieve after 10 hours will be very little.
I finally understand the power of the word "sorry", how it can brighten up someone's day, how it can allow things to continue smoothly, and much much more importantly, how it can allow both of us to continue our lost friendship.
I finally understand the many weak and soft points in myself, especially when it comes to relationships. How a brave person may falter under such circumstances and that big bulging muscles cannot always help a man in achieving his goals.
I finally understand many more things for myself over the last few weeks, including how writing a diary will help me lose A LOT of steam and is a more effective way than talking to my soft toys. How procrastination will lead to one's downfall and how important issit to pray and believe in God wherever we are... Thanks to my seniors for their wonderful lessons =P I didn't even realise i have matured so much until one of you told me that...
On a lighter note(or even lighter if its already light), this morning was super fun actually, where i tied my tie 12 times before getting in the correct length on my 13th try, woot. Dont know what happen to me liao. and the it was full of music critiques for chapel. My basic opinion for the band performance was that they are too soft only, try opening the curtains. Probable because they are too soft so i cant hear that they are not playing together, but nvm. Not bad overall. Then it was PE for 1hr20mins where i was on an owning spree scoring super lot of goals and recess and the CIP.. nice day indeed =)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

little things.

My mum witnessed something funny today at the swimming pool.

There was this little boy having swimming lessons in the fairly lengthy 1.5m deep pool and he was talking to his teacher.

"Uncle, uncle, how many laps ar??"

"one hundred."

"HUH?!?! u mean, one-zero-zero???"



hahaha. i think it was hilarious when he said one-zero-zero out loud. super funny, even though i wasnt even there.


Stick to the small things, my dear friend. There're many question marks that cannot be answered. So the only thing to do is to stay happy, cos God will provide. I'm happy today cos i bought green shoes! Now i have a green dress, green shirts, green hairband, green hairtie, and green shoes. yay xD

To be happy, pray. To stay happy, change ur mind and go green.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Pirates of the Carribean

Just came back from movie session at marina square with the usual few (oli, ame, chris). I'm going to like post again although the latest one is mine too =) Actually this was like the worst planned outing of all, so we were like lost most of the time, especially when choosing the time for the meeting. Chris told us that the next movie is going to be at 2.50, then ame went, huh, like that i cannot watch le. Then 3 minutes later, i realised that i'm holding weekend today in my hands and then start to check the timings for the movie frantically, and found the 11.50 show when its 11.30. But we still manage to catch it in time, we some light snacks during the movie. I will definitely the richard and his birds advertisements, 1001 penguins on an island, the tribe which worships its leader by burning it and caging prisoners in cage made up of human bones, the scary and disguting faces, typical fighting music(like LOTR), imbal sea monstor which swallows the ship whole, emotive and touching relationship between will turner and his father, the heart in the chest, black pearl, fighting scenes on the island, Jack sparrow and his crew and finally my beef hor fun =) The movie itself is 3 hours long(around there) but we didnt find it long at all, which means its not boring at all, which means for those who havent watch it please go and watch. I like the ending part, the one after the credits where the dog became their leader...Ame was either laughing, or covering her eyes cus she dont dare to see throughout the whole show =.=and then to my left is Oli who's so quiet throughout the whole show, extreme opposites.. hmm. Movie my treat. Hehe. Feeling so high now. Not really lar, but cus i still owe chris money for Hilary Hahn concert two-three years ago, and oli is because i agree to treat le, plus i owe you money for the latest SNYO concert and mep concert last year(if i remember correctly). As for Ame, just exchanging for the pop-corn and your smiles, and your accompaniment for MEP O's. So everyone has an excuse. HEHE. Time to pay back my debts
We ran into the cello section where they have the outing at marina square also. Ying hao's idea cus he wanted to play pool. I mean is pool that addictive? crazy liao this kind of people. Next time go HDB void deck and play chinese chess also can-its cheaper. JKJK. Now i feel like going for a christian wedding, cus i never go before!!Ame playing piano now at wedding, oli and shua stoning at esplanade library, samuel still melting in the kopitiam, and me, back at home eating dinner in 5 mins time... Continue to smile =P

Friday, July 14, 2006

HAVEN the musical

This is the 3rd time i writing this thing le, the Computer keep shuuting itself down, siao already. But i think 4 years is a nice age, so maybe should think of getting a new one.
HAVEN was sort of average today. Not the fun kind of rehearsel i would have expected, but nvm, we still learn quite a lot of stuff about it, especially Jazz. Zab why you leave so early, leaving me feeling confused for the entire rehearsel. I have no idea what's she talking about when she's explaining the difference of a triplet dotted-crotchet followed by a quaver, and a dotted quaver followed by a semi-quaver. Lost ah, I am still trying to figure out myself. I dont think her expectations are high, just that I'm not that good enough to play and lead the section at the same time. LOL. The way she sang the tune for our part is like the way i do it, putting in all kinds of syllabus(Ame and Oli should know what I am talking about)...although her's definitely more in tune than mine =) Carl and Rayner two siao guys sitting behind me, kept making Fraser laugh until he could not count properly and always come in early. Hope that when the full band comes in next Friday, it wont sound that messy, cus its sort of like falling apart today. Practise hard guys, and girls, although all of us may not have enough time. Hopefully we wont get mixed up with classical and Jazz after all the HAVEN rehearsel. Can imagine us playing m5 and b5 with the swinging or cha-cha style, and funky accents in unexpected places. 12.40 to 6pm timeslot is the worst i can expect on a Friday. Don't see a point in having rehearsel for 40 mins and then breaking for lunch...
I am and will keep on smiling for the good things that i have been blessed with. Although family and school problems i'm facing now may not be the best option/combination of all, but i will continue to pray hard and trust in him, and finding my way out of this darkness eventually. So, Ame, thanks for your care and concern, this is still managabale (i think so, at least im not the kind where i have reached a stage of plucking out all my hair). This is for you: =P
Exams are over for the year 5's, time to play and relax. Or maybe not play lar, will be VERY busy for the next few weeks or so until after HAVEN. Hope i will be able to catch up with all my work after these perfomances. Already missing prefect dinner on 28th July because of rehearsel. Arghhh, last year in the prefectorial board le, quite sad, but no choice, i still put chamber in front of anything else. Fell- in- love with my violin(I'm gonna name it soon, hehe), take it up everynow and then to look at it, or play with it. Its a much better way of relaxing - better than sleeping. Everytime when we wake up we feel as if we have wasted the past X hours rather than learning new stuff on the violin, although sleeping is equally important also.
We cant always get the things we want in life, but when good things appear out of nowhere, we tend to take it for granted. Treasure whatever we have, and never let it slip out of your hands.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

did u see the rain?

Did u see the rain today?
It made me think of u.

I was just looking up at the sky, wondering at how the rain can travel such a long distance and not die off halfway; how an emotion can travel across the earth and not fade.


to yanhan: smile at all costs. u'll never know, but u might just brighten someone's day by smiling.


Yesterday's concert was quite an ear-pleaser. Although the horns weren't that good in Mozart's serenade "Gran Partita", the g minor mozart symphony was not bad. We must sound like them on our concert. But the orchestra was way too big for mozart. Too many strings...the stage was overcrowded. Was reading the programme notes on Mozart's serenade and found out that he wrote it for his wedding. I pointed that out to oli and asked him to write me sth for my wedding. He agreed :) and maybe if i am pro enough, i can return the favour, preferably by performing, not composing. haha.

Shostakovich's Gadfly suite was impressive, not really because of the performers, but because i have never heard such amazing film music ( yes yes oli, i am deprived). I loved the overture melody, but the romance and and nocturne were beautiful. Ike's solo was touching and made me think that he had a message to the people out there. To touch their cold hearts. I could have cried for him. Hope it worked.

Andris' solo was heartwrenching as well. Well done, andris! :) I'm sure it touched the hearts of many. By nature of the music, the Nocturne was more heartbreaking than the Romance, thats why i found it more beautiful. I'm finding beauty in all things sad. Maybe i am weird.

The concert left me with more than one thing to think about. I left the hall sad for ike. and sad for u. But good days and bad days, God is still in it, so it balances.

for the sake of someone.

yes that someone over there on the tagboard. this post is for you.

even though its really not a good time to blog. well its never a good time to blog because you can always do something more productive. my last paper tomorrow. heh.

dead man's chest was cool. cant wait for the third instalment.

anyway. exams are coming to a close. which is good. physics proved to be time consuming today as silly me used simultaneous equations to solve some momentum qn in paper 2 which took up so much time that i left like almost the last 2 sides blank. bleagh. oh wells.

modes modes modes.

Ionian Dorian Phrygian Lydian Mixolydian Aeolian Locrian

scales scales scales.

octatonic pentatonic chromatic whole tone modal

ok lets see.

pentatonic scale of Gb, aeolian mode of Eb, key in Bb yet theme in dorian mode of Ab, mixolydian mode of F, aeolian mode of Db, phrygian mode of F, lydian mode of E.

ah this is interesting.

ascending scalic passages in varied descending sequences.

i will remember this. muaha. ok enough of bartok for a night. or maybe not. its still early. ha. must pwn music.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


i dont know what to think.

its been quite overwhelming.

the things to think about.

Lord lead my life...

Now Playing...
Ludwig van Beethoven: Coriolan Overture, Op.62
Kurt Masur, Gewandhausorchester Leipzig

maybe i should post something.

Happy birthday bryan!

Two penguins in a mug,
one turns to the other
gives the other a hug
and says: thanks for being there.
The other turns around
and smiles a furry smile
like all penguins do.
So ends the story of
Two penguins in a mug.

hahaha that was so random, but u know, anything to lift up the solemn exam mood. Apparently, oli is the only xman that is done for common tests, so magNGEEto abandons his fellow xmen and goes to enjoy himself cos he owned the bio paper -__- haha.

Something very amusing happened today. I was with doggie, tim e.chan, tina and cheryl when gabriel from chamber (yes, the sec1 boy who dangles his legs when playing the violin, haha) came up behind me and NGEE-ed me !!!

I cant believe he ngee-ed me. ahhh.

Gabriel is just like the child person that we all want to find in us, but we don't seem to find him/her. And so we see it in others.

haha, i was just wondering, maybe its this stage of completion and wholeness called 'om', this child person thing. x) just kidding.

And so ends the story of two penguins in a mug.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Chung, Happy Birthday

Haha, big day for the royal highness a.k.a Chung a.k.a shadowcat
But for those who are living in the world of their own, he has turn 17 now...Our plan you know who we are) sort of last minute back-fired, but nvm. Many thanks to say to you, thanks for being such a wonderful senior, for inspiring me, for teaching me, for guiding me. Woohoo, *sings happy birthday song to you, like the way you sang it on my birthday =)

Nothing much to say for today, except MEP ended like 6.30, 7? somewhere at that time, which is a bit late. Can't believe composing Jazz and atonal music can be so difficult. Wacked like another past year paper in an hours time, quite tiring. So many shoenberg option, so everything i just tick shoenberg =)Mrs Li taking us on Prokofiev for movement 2 starting next week, so MEP will end even later.. weee. Wont mind us having some camp before O's, quite scared actually, not steady de. Chinese its alright man, dont aim too high, dont aim too low, just get the same as my brother = ownage. Dunno lar, first time i got below 40 for my compo(chinese) cus it was sort of out of point =.=! nvm, we will harder.

SYO concert tomorrow, all the best to Wilbur. Same for the year 5's, ending phase must work even harder, like 2.4km run like that. Just chiong and catch your breath later. History, Physics, Mep left (i think so). God bless.


Monday, July 10, 2006

Writing programme notes for AC phil concert.

The night before HL bio and HL econs papers.

but well,
it'll be over tomorrow.

Now Playing...
Max Bruch: Concerto for violin & orchestra No.3 in D minor, Op.58
Andreas Krecher, Wuppertal Symphony Orchestra, Gernot Schmalfub

such a pity. no one plays this anymore. i would put this work on par with the Brahms concerto.
but i guess thats life... good things can get neglected

Last post for issue X

Guessed you all already know what issue i'm talking about. Super lot of people not happy and super lot of people want to end this thing. So everyone, listen up.
From now on, every issue on this crap thing is banned. Anyone who post anything or tag anything regarding this issue, shall be i dont know what. Don't even post things like thank god, this think is over or anything else. This matter never happened at all, and will never be recorded in history books. =) I have no idea what I am talking about.
Final explanation + clarification:
To Ian Lim, we did not blow this thing up. Its just he decided to link my blog and let the whole world know what's going on, and everyone decided to take sides (quite obvious whose side to choose). We are not incapable of handling things, and neither have we alerted the teachers, they found out themselves de.
To Eugene, I'm still respecting you as a friend, but not as much as a guitar president. And as a friend, I hope that you should respect that too, and i seriously hope that your "attempted suicide" can be a really good lesson to learn from. Sorry once again...
To chamber players, don't even care to find out what's going on in between us...
To guitar players, get over it man, do you miss me that much? LOL...
And to the whole world, thanks for being a wonderful audience, but this thing has officially come to an end... ON BEHALF OF EVERONE, SORRY TO EVERYONE.

Yay, I can breathe finally. Went to my friend's house to watch the finals. Thanks Wei Yang for that, haven't been able to thank you, probably becuase im too tired le. Zizou, why did you lose your cool. Barthez please retire, and grow taller. Materazzi why did you pinch Zizou's ****. Why did Henry got replaced by the penalty misser. When do referess learn how to make their own decision and not listen to other players. Why must Grosso always break people's heart. Buffon performed well. (Ame, Italy's substitute goalkeeper is called Marco AMELIA. Cant stop laughing after i saw his name) Sigh. Not the best results we had expected, but nvm.
France's campaign throughout this world cup, against Spain, Brazil and Portugal have not been an easy one. So at least they deserve a clap for that. They lost to a dirty team in the finals... (my opinion).
Back to lessons now, dont know if we can adjust the world cup mode back to the half-mugging, half-slacking mode. Hopefully.

Praying hard as usual, never lose faith in him.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

i should have realised earlier.

Maybe i should have realised it earlier. How all the trials, problems, heartbreak, pain, suffering, tears should not confuse things, but lead me to one thing.

It's all simple isn't it.

Not to think and ponder, but just to feel the now and appreciate it. Not to question the present and the existing; but just to treasure. Like a child person.

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Simple, ain't it.

I should have realised earlier.

Post number 60

Germany 3, Portugal 1. Bastian Schweinsteiger's game indeed. Italy may have a higher chance of winning, but France may prove the World wrong.. hopefully. I'm still supporting France.
While the 3 of them were mugging, and realising new things for themselves, i too found out quite a number of things too. Firstly, my bro actually got a lecture from my parents all because of me. Sigh. Now feeling guilty because the morning lashing just ruined his whole day. I actually went downstairs to collect the laundry and when i was up... its becuase of my knee again. I was told to study dont know what Chinese (when its not even exam period, and O's is still quite far), but spent most of my time listening to what they said. Apart from the laundry thingy, which i am now officially banned, they still talk quite a lot of stuff about time management, business, caring for others, the advantage of males (cus he was like comparing him with my sis) and relationship.. <--i think my bro has one le.. lol. Hope he doesnt read my blog. =) I didnt apologise to him, cus i have no idea what to say, but he decided to pack the whole study room (this is what he does whenever he's angry, not happy, i dont know) . So the whole early morning gone, and it was violin, lunch, violin and dinner...around 6 hours bah. Still havent decided on which bow to buy, theres a light one but the sound just cant come out, and there's a heavier one with much nicer sound. LoL. I like the light one, but i may decide to go with sound, or perhaps none. Still thinking.
Anyway that was yesterday, cus i didnt have a chance to use the com. Or maybe i had the chance, but didnt use the com...Brand new aircons will be installed in my house in like a month's time, that means i wont be moving house. woohoo. maybe 6 more years bah. I doubt i will be using them anyway, but those a free =) Happy or sad, i'm still not too sure.

On anothern note:It maybe peaceful on the outside, but what's going on behind it isn't. There is no need to apologise to me, cus now there are like 3 more people pissed with you. If you are really not happy with us, just dont go for the concert. I does not and will not make a difference. Dont keep saying that you have been forced, cus in actual fact you aren't. Its just that you are over sensitive to what she says. Pride comes before fall( if you didnt know about this). And you also haven't answer to my questions yet, dont know if you are trying to avoid it or what. 1. What do you want to gain out of this thing. 2. In what ways have i failed as a GM, and if it has something to do with how we run things, please think of the state we are in now, and the state of your orch. 3. What's the point of saying all those stuff about us when you dont even dare to say it in our face. Art of backstabbing? 4. Do you know that the whole committee does not agree with the way you run things, except for one hypocrite. 5. If you know the whole world is not supporting you, why dont you just reflect on what you have already done, and do the appropriate things. <-- I'm saying this because i still respect you as a friend. You won't have much time anyway. Cause there are seriously super angry people around le.. Think about it. You are not the only person living in this world, and there are bound to be times where you will not agree with the rest. Selfishness or just stubbornness?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Oh Lord
have mercy on me.

help me to follow your words
and to live by your Spirit.

for you have called me to be Your peacemaker.

seemingly lost steam for mugging.

It flew up into the sky, further and further; higher and higher it went. I remember chasing after it with my friends - we were overjoyed, as our fifty-cent kite had flew halfway across the narrow passage of sea that was in front of us. We didnt expect it to survive great heights without tearing.

But it did, and we were glad.

At that instant, the kite gave us unexplained joy, hope and freedom. We seemed to be riding on its wonderful journey to the sky - the feeling was so exhilirating, yet it was so fragile. It was all about enjoying the nows and ignoring the tomorrows. I felt so happy then.

Yet, on the other side of the world, a child flies a kite and the string snaps. He feels a sense of loss as it crashes down into a tree somewhere on the other side. He passes the tree in his parents' car and sees the kite, torn, entangled, miserable. He goes home sad; not for the kite, but for himself.


Today, bryan and oli and i were mugging.

There were alot of hoe jokes today. hmm. let me remember one. Oh yes, the one about the P site and A site. hahahahahahahha. it's so crude i cant say it here. but it was funny, and i will never forget the process of translation now x) Then there was another one. When we were walking bryan frm the bus stop, we saw a pile of, er, manure (fertiliser, presumably) and guess what? there was a garden HOE next to it. Oli first looked at bryan and said "did u leave it there?" haha. If that isnt funny enough, oli and i saw the hoe and i said it must be hoe who left it there. AND THEN of course we rmbed the crude conversation. and so it was funny. hahaha.

Then as we were leaving two birds crossed the road at the basement carpark. I pointed tt out to oli and after 2 seconds, the two of us said in unison: "why did the bird cross the road?" haha. synchronised randomness x)

Oli misses kobe.

It was a meaningful day, in more ways than one. Maybe one day i will start to see that life is simple. Perhaps i'm also guity of not listening to the voice of God too.

"so send I you."

Friday, July 07, 2006

painting the palette of memory

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.

Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colours on the snowy linen land.

I still remember every instance when the night sky spoke to me. It first beckoned me into its presence when i was young and foolish. The night sky in langkawi was the first glimpse of beauty i saw from above. Its image is captured in my brain - the whole milky way of stars were just above me. I remember looking fondly at them, but being foolish, i did not fully understand what it was trying to say. And what it meant. I did not see; i did not listen.

But God gives grace and the night sky spoke to me again, when i was in a tent with friends, and next to one that i loved. We were at the beach, and it was dark and windy. I looked up, but i was foolish, and did not see; i did not listen to what it had to say. But it was beautiful, nonetheless.

It was when i was three-quarters up a mountain in the middle of the night that i looked up and listened. I was freezing, suffering from fatigue, and my seemingly waterproof gloves and shoes were wet. My fingers and toes could not be felt. But as i lay on the smooth rock to rest, the night sky was before me -- it was then that its beauty sank into this cold heart of mine. It spoke to me and it felt as if time stopped. The stars looked like they had all the answers. In the stillness, i felt totally secure, spiritually, mentally, physically. I was comforted and consoled. No questions were asked nor answered, but they simply vanished. I lay down, transfixed, for a long time.

The second time it spoke to me was in the beloved village in kunming, china. The sky was at its greatest majesty that night. Diamond-studded, i thought. We were singing spiritual songs along with the melancholic sound of a strumming guitar...and i wondered in awe at God's creation. But it was then that my heart was in great turmoil due to the things past and the things that happened. I looked up at the sky once again for solace. Sitting alone, away from the rest, I cried out to the sky. Because it was comforting, it was secure, it was like a shoulder for me to lean on; and its Creator offered empathy. And there and then, in the darkness, i poured my heart out to the sky, and it listened and its Creator gave grace, the sky and I. Somehow we understood each other, and everything did not seem to matter then.

And now i understand
What you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how,
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Perhaps when the world comes to an end, when all pride and prejudice is put down, only then will people listen to the stars and the sky that echo the voice of God.

Only when its too late, do people listen.

Perhaps they'll listen now.

In the middle of the exam period...

Never did any of us expect this day to be so fun (or maybe relaxing)...
Firstly, ame you watch guitar FOA last year ah.. that means you must have seen me playing some lousy duet. Oh crap, i was seriously super lousy, so just forget about it =.=
Waited for Oli for quite some time before we left, but that was the time when we discuss some orch stuff, so not counted as wasting =) We made up our mind on where we want to go for lunch only at the bus-stop, when i just randomly say Jurong point and then the rest agree. yay. back to my territory. The whole mrt ride was filled with nonsense stuff. (Don't know whether i should say this or not, lol. But this is also to let one know that not everyone can accept the things one says, especially when they aren't being filtered through the brain, and more importantly, about stuff which does not concern the opposite sex. <-- i think you get my point. And im saying this on ame behalf cus i don't think she will ever bring this thing up)
Okay, bad things aside, Poh Soon Kai came to visit us in the middle of our lunch session and seriously just make our day much better. But WHY MUST YOU WEAR A GREEN COLOURED SHIRT???. Now we still owe ame an ice-kachang(although she bought herself qing-tang). Worst part is the jokes he cracked, made Oliver eat at a pace slower than grave. and i also feel that its becase of poh that OLI LEFT HIS VIOLA BEHIND AFTER WE LEFT THE FOOD-COURT. ownage. wondering what other people might feel about this black box in the middle of a food-court being unattended to. Luckily no security guards when we went back like 15mins later. Remember, it can strike anytime, anywhere, anyone =) Unusual jokes, with some funky accent and ame' high pitch laughing (usually D#) was just so nice for a lunch break...
After chris and ying hao left, we did some window shopping for fun, (ame wanted it) =) Quite tiring, but as usual cannot stop laughing for most of the time. Just walking around the whole building under me and poh's guidance. muahaha. So that's about it, hope year 5's have enough rest so that they are re-charged up for Bio, history and so on...Didn't know Poh started to play maple also =)
Today's symposium was the most ful-filling of all, or should i say enriching, and the best thing is that it only went over time by 5 mins or so. So not bad overall. This symposium i must say is better than last year de. Year 5's im still supporting you all, like 1 more week left only, keep adding oil, take advantage that the oil prices have not increase for the time moment =P Ame try to study history before hand.. check your mail. 4 more subjects, or 3 for some
Fire-fighters came to douse some flames on the ongoing issue today... Friends are meant to help each other, not create so much friction and cause trouble for so many people... Everyone control please, or else this matter is going no where =) Peace.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

friendship vs politics 2

I recall.

The first ACS(I) guitar concert i attended. It was july last year, the festival of arts. Cherie and i were there to support jit. It was my first time watching a guitar ensemble - i've always thought a guitar was a solo instrument.

There they were on stage, and we located jit, who was looking kinda nervous, in the centre of the stage. I've never seen so many guitarists on stage before! They started their first piece and the produced some good sound that i've never heard b4. Quite an eye-opener.

And then the soloists were up next. I still remember, the final few items featured the most professional-sounding student guitarist i have ever heard. His performance stunned me. It was, to me, "wow". Really impressive. I wanted to find out more about this talented guy.

So that's how i knew chenyi (:


Why. why do u want to ruin all this. why the slander? why the horrid rumours? why the pride and rivalry?

Why not acceptance? grace?

I plead. please. please.

please don't do this.


Politics vs Friendship

Back to the same topic as yesterday, which nearly cost me an entire night's sleep...
I guessed the only thing that is keeping me in control is friendship. I won't want to ruin this relationship with him, and that has certainly prevented many things from happening.
Perhaps im just not honest enough, not straight to the point, or just the way i phrased sentences is just totally wrong. So mis-understanding just appear out of nowhere...
Im sure ame was right, politics is the correct word to use here. In my own view, its just a cold war, something to do with mind-games.. People do learn from mistakes, and we continously upgrade ourselves by learning from others. Different people might also have different styles of running something, for ex. Mrs Li may feel that by doing this and this it will help the whole orch to be better, to advance and so on. Is there a need to be unhappy just because there are clashes of ideas? I dont think so, and i feel that there are more than one way of representing your unhappiness than doing what we already did...
There are some things which are dont know how to say, and cannot say here. So please forgive me. What i dont wish to happen is that people start to spread rumous about us(a group as a whole). I wont mind people saying bad stuff behind my back, defame me, or hate me forever. All i wish for is a reason for doing that so at least i can do something about it... Merely explaining will only ease this situation right now. What all of us should do is a little self-reflection on what has been done, and perhaps find a way out of this mess. For those who whish to know this, i quit guitar because i didnt have enough time learning 3 instruments at the same time, has lost a little interest in guitar practises, especially during combine. And some more childish reasons: i dont like some people inside who continously backstab and bully me ever since i was sec 1, my seniors (in guitar, not all)who only know how to scold and not lead by example. And one more crappy but true one: i dont wish that Mrs Li and Ms Ng built all of their years 1-4 mep schedule around me, in which they have done that when i was in guitar...All other reasons you think of me leaving guitar is just crap. FULLSTOP

On a lighter note, I'm quite happy today that France won Italy, the team with super violent players... And there is such a word as retribution, Ricardo Carvalho who got Wayne Rooney sent off, gave a penalty away to France.. Score eneded with a 1-0 win, and France will surely continue their world cup campaign by getting the trophey back, as well as erasing their humiliating early exit four years ago. France Jia you wor.

Today's symposium was a bit tiring. I saw Hamilton road along the way to the interview place. Couldnt stop smiling. Chris explained the true meaning of symposium to me.. SHH, cannot say le. Tomorrow's end of symposium, then back to normal school days. Don't know if i should be happy or sad.

As for year 5's, 1 down, 5 more to go. nothing to study for mep, so 4 more to go. I'm sure Bryan will go crazy after this thing. Siao already, so happy after first paper then immediately sms me. I'm in an interview session that time btw. All papers pushed back one day due to world cup. LOL, best decision from Dr Ong. I'm sure he wants to watch the finals too... France vs Italy =)

Apologies to Phoen, for all the misunderstanding. I hope you understand. to whole guitar orch for leaving lastyear, i mean just get over it please... to year 5's especially chris, shua and ame for helping me and wasting so much of your time... to bryan for not replying your message after that =P Don't be sad. LOL

If you are heading in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns...If you repent, i will restore you that you may serve me... - Psalm 118:24. Smile guys

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

my 20.

me left. not exactly the right time to do this, but well :)

in no particular order.

1. God, for His love that endures forever
2. My family, for always being there
3. My grandma and mum in particular, for all the concern and care that they have given
4. Oli, for being such a great friend
5. Alvin, for being a mentor and friend
6. Winnie, for listening and being there
7. James, for being a great brother
8. Nique, for being a brother, friend, guitar shifu, pro acoustic guit playing
9. Bryan, for his amazing playing
10. Jit, my telephone friend and confidante
11. Ame, for your uncontrollable laughter thats brought so much joy X)
12. Yanhan, for bringing laughter and joy. yannyhanny. haha
13. John, for patience.
14. Mr Chan and Chris, for getting things done.
15. Clean and Vic, for your laughter and joy :)
16. Tims, for cooking soup, bassing, and listening.
17. Yi, for pro classical guit playing
18. Jireh, for pro electric guit playing
19. Zab siao already. hahahaha. for your madness and laughter
20. Mrs Cheah, for being so patient with my piano playing

this list is not exhaustive :)

For Fun...

Actually i have no idea why i am posting this thing, but its just for fun anyway.
First and foremost, i just happen to catch the Germany Italian match as i happened to wake up early.. lol. Sad for the Germans, but i like. So tomorrow morning France will beat Portugal and go on being World champions.. muahaha. Dreaming, but nvm. There are hardly any France supporters out there anyway =) So dont be too upset if Portugal lose..
Regarding symposium, i actually have no idea what we are doing. Went to the computer lab right in the morning, and started to play dota from 11 onwards... Rest of the class waiting to play com decided to play soccer in class, in which i strongly controlled myself not to do it(knee and illegal) and i suceeded. lol. Lucky for me, Mrs Li walked in at around 1 to pass me my letter of excuse on 14th July, and caught them playing soccer in class. GG.
I have no idea whats this war going on between us (chamber) and other musical groups, especially guitar. Their president, who happened to be in the same class as me, is taking me as if i was he ultra super duple enemy. And as most of you already know, the moment i quit guitar last year, i was being looked as an outcast or so, somewho who betrayed them. There are around 10 guitarist in my class, and 3 chamber players.(Me, Ying hao and sengtiong the blur) and somehow they keep relating me to chamber, me to mrs li and me as their enemy. Everything i do was like against their will and its sort of getting onto my nerves le. Especially the remarks they give on me organising the acshpil with you the rest of the committee was like OMG... I don't know this can last on for how long, but today was one of the worst days so far, in which i shant say more. What i am trying to say, is that if they somehow happen to approach any one of you regarding this acsphil concert, and happen to bring up the matter of being treated unfairly as a guitarist, just try to talk nicely to them. I guess i have already failed in this area, as a classmate and as a friend. But no worries, i will find a way out of this mess. For those who are lost, go and talk to chris about this thingy...In my opinion, they are just being jealous at us. I'm still trying to find another reason for them treating me that way... Sigh
We should sometimes just accept the way things are supposed to be, and not try to use underhand techniques to mess people's life up... Was joining guitar in the first place a guilt... i dont think so. And i had my reason for quitting. Not as if they are missing me or something, we are from the same class!! Chamber orchestra is obviosuly more experienced than guitar (which is founded like 5 years ago), so what they should do is learn from us and not pissing me and ying hao off... but i dont think ying hao will be pissed off =) This world is full of crap actually...
Still working on my computer. I think its dieing le. 4 years old with super lot of problems.. ran a scan and found 1035 errors, woot... this will take me another 3 hours or so =.=

It is more important to know where you are going than to see how fast you can get there.
It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way - Proverbs 19:2

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


hi ppl! i'm taking a break for mugging...

Today i mugged math, and i still cant solve the APGP qn that bryan asked earlier in the day -__-' sigh.
There's still history, like half of Stalin and Hitler left to mug and there's topic one of bio too. oh dear.

Anyway, today's TOK was about emotions. And i've decided that everyone deep-seated, innate emotions. Love, passion, fear. And sadly, the bad side too: greed, unhealthy desire. This is why we need God.

And as for me, i'll wait for him to be beach-walking friend x)

*sips lemonade and enjoys the imaginary sunlight at an imaginary beach*

this is how u relax. esp in exam time. =p

my 20?

not necessarily inspiring, and sometimes in pairs. thank God for you!
  1. Him, whom i let down so many times. yet he accepts me...
  2. Family, as a whole. what would life be without the home?
  3. JT, whom i respect in so many ways. and submit to.
  4. Clem and TimLim, for being such a blessing
  5. Joshua Loke. the one friend whom is sensible and wise.
  6. Ame, (and kobe!), both bring soooo much joy!
  7. Debbyoyah, for being ever so cheerful!
  8. Soonks and Hoe, the two who love God with all their hearts
  9. Bryan Chung the inspiring violinist
  10. Chris. whom somehow i appreciate =)
  11. Yanhan the funny! hahaha
  12. Zab. siao already
  13. Dr. Yeo, the viola doctor. best teacher in the world.
  14. Carl, youre a blessing!
  15. Justin Seah, for sitting next to me. =)
  16. Aug, an annointed one
  17. Junyi. youre not forgotten!
  18. John Tay and Fraser, the uZap ones
  19. Mdm Tay SK, for being so patient
  20. EH EH, my stuffed triceratops. forever young and smiling!


Sigh, didnt know so many people sharing the same prob as me. or at least one of you =) thanks for your concern anyway, especially chris and ame.. i will not do stupid things. see first, need to consult more people. but more or less i will be resting, but do not want to get weak at the same time.. so thats my dilemma =(
Symposium was average today. At least not bad for me going to Jurong Library and not national library which is super duple far. It was sort of crappy that we need to return to school for MEP later in the afternoon, in sandals, short pants, home clothes, and without a bag =) You will definitely feel out of place, trust me... First time our sec 4 mep class became so united, maybe because its without a lot of people... so the class was definitely super quiet, and we did super lot of things today, i think a record of things if im not wrong. Super efficient although we started late. John Tay was complaining a lot justn ow anyway. Firstly about his compostition remarks from you know who, then about him playing solo in a concert organised by year 5's (or bryan, or chris, i still dont know. lol). He also found out that he will be having a BB hike on 29th, which is the day of the concert, as well as being an usher during MEP concert, with me... so he was non-stop complaining througout the whole lesson =.=
First journal entry is nearly in(for those who dont know what's this about, dont bother finding out) . More to come in the week after we call up those companies.
As for the tagboard, i still have no idea what you guys are talking about, too cheem for my liking. And why me? Why must i be cynical(when i dont even know whats that in the first place)? So just change the topic please. Stop spamming the board with this topic =)
Ever since the top 20 list was up, i have been receiving quite a number of thanks (at most 20 lol), as well as disappointment, like ying hao. Please lar, 20 people only how to fit the whole world's name inside.. unless you MacNgeetoh then different. And we are talking about INSPIRED, so although you may be a good friend of mine, you did not inspire me enough =P so just get over it please. or else i will be regretting putting that list up in the first place... and im sure ame feels the same too...
That's all folks, same old line.. have fun mugging

Monday, July 03, 2006

my kngee too.

hammy you're not alone

i hit my kngee against the bathroom door frame today, with a considerable amount of force because i didnt expect it to be in the way. i was just walking out. gah. it still hurts when i stretch it back and forth. ouch. hope there's no lasting damage. thankfully not much pain walking.


ame's list

Now's my turn. 20 ppl who have inspired no particular order i guess.

1) God - has inspired me to live each day for Him
2) Mummy - for raising me and going through all kinds of adversity just for us
3) My older brother - for being so strong admist life-and-death situations
4) Daddy - for being amazingly patient
5) Zab - for inspiring me to practise vln more! haha.
6) Joshua tan - for standing strong in the Lord even when temptations surround
7) Oli - for listening
8) Joshua Loke - for forgiving me
9) Joshua hoe - for trusting completely in the Lord, among other things
10) Bryan - for being amazingly gifted
11) Jonathan, my bro's friend - for being strong and sharing the same experience as my bro
12) Prof Yap - for being so patient and looking after my family
13) The big-eyed girl in kunming who cried when i left - she's inspired me to treasure little moments
14) The 13 yr-old boy who played Mendelssohn's piano concerto no.1 at the NAFA piano concert - inspired me to practise harder!
15) Soonkai - for being so joyful always
16) Daniel Loh - for being so vocal and outspoken, something which i long to be
17) dml - for listening to me in times of need
18) Felicia Goh - for being able to sing, act, and dance!
19) Cherie - for being able to dance! and for making me feel at home
20) Yuhan - she's inspired me to work hard and stay focused.

Here's my NOT take offence if ur name isnt in it, because its either i take u for granted (which is MY fault, i am so sorry) or there's just not enough space to add any more ppl. there's only 20 places available anyway. Its also in no particular order, esp after 4, cos tt's when i just wrote down anyone tt came to mind. haha.


no more! ngee!

First things first.



Ok here's how it went...for scales, the bow was shaking a bit cos i was fairly nervous...but she didnt test D major or C major so that's good. And chris i don't think i can meet ur high standard of scale-playing (i.e.20/21), and i am so NOT going to play three-octave scales in front of everyone if i dun get full marks!

The pieces were fine: I didnt rush for the first piece, in which if i did, i would kill my pianist. The second piece was actually quite good! haha! Liebesfreud double stops were mostly in tune x) yay! and i was just looking back six months ago when i couldnt even play the first set of double stops. has been a long way. The third piece was fine also...high notes were there and all that. Aural was easy! i could actually SING the bass line correctly for once in my life. haha. i think its correct la. haha.

After the exam the examiner asked me what treat would i give myself after this. I said no treat cos still must mug for common test =( haha then she exclaimed and said sth about me being so poor thing. haha. She's such a nice lady. She said i must make sure that i give myself a huge treat after all my exams =)

Few people i would like to thank:

1) God! For making sure my usual mistakes didnt happen
2) Josh, oli, yanhan, bryan, dml, paul etc etc who kept me in their prayers
3) the examiner (her name is Cecil. i think.) for being so kind and for thanking me for playing. And for her smile that made me feel better, regardless of the results.
4) my teacher who made the double stops in liebesfreud possible in the end =D
5) My dearest accompanist, Yuxin...i am eternally grateful to u ! Hope u like the present.


I'm just glad its over!!! Yanhan, pls take care of ur knee and rest well! and thx again! its a great pleasure being an inspiration to you :)

Now its back to mugging i guess. hmm. Many things to look forward to after that.


Aftermath of...

Reporter Hammy gives you first hand account of ame's violin exam, in which she will give the more detailed version later (hopefully)...
Before the exam she doesnt sound like she's freaking out, so yay, good news.
So she went in at around 3.56 pm(according to reliable sources) and came out at 4.30pm(estimation). According to her, she just said "scales was good, pieces were okay. aural was easy. and its over" so guess all of our prayers work... now lets see the distinction arrive =) celebration time... dont get too high please

As for my knee (wilford not ngee...) it just went crap again. Nearly cry. Omgoodness. I'm a sad man now. Either become handicap or become handicap, do i have a choice? Trying very hard to not to think about it.. bah.. the worst has yet to come.

Okay, change topic. Dont want to talk about that thing le. Eugene Phoen gave me the idea of doing this =) Name 20 person who have inspired me in one way or another. I guess all of us show try. and this is how it goes: its ranked according.. so check your name somewhere =)
1. Father
2. Mother
3. Brother
4. Sister
5. Mr Chan
6. Christopher
7. Amos Lim
8. Bryan Chung
9. Zhang
10. Amelia
11. Zabrina
12. Eugene
13. Mrs Li
14. John Foo
15. Joshua Loke
16. Mr Yew
17. Kenneth Yeo
18. Jonathan Han
19. John Tay
20. Oswald

Basically first 4 are just my family, so quite obvious. I ranked Chan next as he was really some cool person who allowed me to grow and mature. Zhang's my violin teacher for those who didnt know. Jonathan's the one who opened my heart to christianity like 2 years ago? =) Classmates include Kenneth, John, Eugene. The 2 girls at 10 and 11, i shant say anything, a bit personal, but dont get the wrong idea.. i have my own explanations for it.. Then Chamber people, chris and co, thanks a lot. Mr yew and Mrs Li are just special teachers to me... thats all folks.. i shant reveal too much too.. hehe

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Go Jean Green!


Saturday, July 01, 2006


Cant think of a title to right as this post is random - as usual.
Year 5's are on their last phase of completing their highest level of mugging mode... Jia you hor. In the mean time, i will keep you all updated on today's rehearsel.
Quite happy that we cleared most of our philharmonic stuff in today's meeting, including on the attire =) And on our way to rehearsel at the new audi, i showed them (ame, joshua, zab, bryan etc...) the place where the accident occured yesterday. It was already fenced up for those who didnt notice, and the broken tiles haven not been replaced yet. Muahaha. No re-enactment, sorry to those who expected me to do it. Surprisingly the air-con was alredy on before-hand, so i can at least cool down before having the practise. quite a number of people who skipped today's rehearsel for no apparent reason. but who cares, Mrs Li will deal with them.
Apologies once again for not attending the meeting after rehearsel. You all never tell me that there it was still going on, so i happily went to the SAC for lunch, before ame told me "not after we finish the meeting" then i was like oh crap.. and etc.. and rushed all the way back up. By that time i finish my Mee Pok(no chilli and liver) liao, but was still forced by the royal highness a.k.a shadowcat a.k.a Ms Chung to go for lunch with them, again.
Then it was over, we went on our own ways, with the year 5 gang going to ame's house to mug and the rest of us to Boon Lay...
Next rehearsel is on 13th July, which is roughly 12 more days from now. By then the year 5's will be so high that they cant play properly le.. Got 83 for ISO. Sigh. 85 to get excellent is crappy. Regretting not putting in the extra effort. But who cares, im fine with everything considering there are quite a number of people who got 84. hehe.
Have fun mugging =) i have no idea what i am talking about in this post. France please beat Brazil...