I was just speaking to a dear friend a few nights ago. We spoke of the 'ngee' and the good old days. It's probably time to leave this blog behind. The blog which means so much more than any other, one that represents a deep connection between four unique individuals in the midst of growing up. Whatever happens, you all will always be very close to my heart.

Signing out,
oli.

http://onlyremoteconsonances.blogspot.com

Perhaps the key to understanding art music lies in the following quote from Arnold Schoenberg's Theory of Harmony...

"Art..... is the imitation of inner nature. In other words, art does not then represent merely the objects or occasions that make impressions, but above all these impressions themselves, ultimately without reference to their What, When and How. Inference of the original, external object is here perhaps of only secondary importance due to its lack of immediacy."

mania

i'm afraid to say it to you.

i've tried to be brave and failed.

some of you dont want to hear it from me anymore.

it hurts alot.

i need intensive, time-consuming help.

i dont want help from people i dont trust.

i want to run far far away but i have to go to camp so i cant.

shit. what the hell is wrong with me

Blessed are they whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the Lord.
Blessed are they who keep his statutes
and seek after him with all their heart.
They do nothing wrong;
they walk in his ways.
You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh, that my heart were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!
I will praise you with an upright heart
as i learn your righteous laws.
I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, O Lord;
teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.

I fear being alone nowadays. My mind isn't what it used to be. It used to be much safer.