Many things have happened in the past few weeks; I wonder if anyone noticed a change?
Powerful stuffThe last week of school was probably the most intellectually unprogressive one in the whole term: teachers were missing and there was just this overwhelming atmosphere of slack. But I learnt, or rather experienced, some fairly powerful stuff. Yes yes I'm talking about the tennis, rugby, badminton and hockey matches. After missing the rugby finals last year, I made it a point to watch this year's, and I was, er, greatly rewarded? No I can't say that - we lost to RJC by a very very close margin. But what I meant was that I was greatly rewarded with the privilege of just being there and of witnessing a spirit that I can't exactly quantify, qualify or express it in words.
What is the AC spirit? I think if I described the tearful aftermath and solemnity of the match to my brother, he would probably laugh at how 18-year old gentlemen can cry over a game. Others might view it with disdain, scorn, jealousy and what not, but I'm quite sure that every person who was there did feel they were part of something special, regardless of the outcome. It was in the impulse to jump to your feet and cheer when the team fought back; it was in the unity of sentiment that we felt toward the team. Maybe it was all about being one - one strong, collective, cohort. I have tried to put a word to it, but it seems that these attempts have failed. But whatever it was, I'm proud to say that I've been part of something awesome.
I'm proud to be an ACSian. (:
Loving school moreThis might sound crazy, but as I was in the car looking out at the passing road, it hit me that this is probably the best state of life I can ever wish for: I've got my youth, I've got love, I've got friends, I've got school, I've got health, I've got God, I've got a future and everything's going well for me. I figured that this fantastic phase of life ain't gonna last very long, so let's all bask in it for awhile. Of course, we should all try to maintain such optimism regardless of our circumstances, but I don't think anyone's that noble to say that they can keep it up all the time.
But for now, I really do feel I'm blessed. And there ain't nothing wrong in feeling blessed. Just remember to thank God for it. (:
This might sound even crazier, but as the thought of exams emerge from the back of my mind like a animation pop-up that scares u by suddenly appearing on an empty computer screen, I do not find myself dragging my feet to school anymore. In fact, I wake up relieved knowing that I have a place to go, friends to meet, and things to learn. Yeah I know, crazy only begins to describe me now right. Maybe its part of my pressing need for structure and predictability in my life, but I'm really starting to like school, regardless of its uniform rules regarding the pieces of cloth you wear on your feet every day (heh), or the increasing unproductivity of lessons nowadays. Haha YES it's precisely because of the increasing number of free periods that I'm liking school more, but that's only part of the reason. I guess it's only when good things start to come to an end, that we start to appreciate what we've had. By good things, I mean hanging around with my fellow SL2 math class ppl during SL1 periods (love you, yy! haha), feeding the fish, shouting from block C to block B (we seriously need a bridge frm 6.8 to 6.15!), laughing a lot, among other things. With more Career fairs and scholarship pressures from teachers and parents, part of me - in fact, most of me - wants to stay here in my small world forever, to freeze this capsule of mine, with me inside it. Sounds a little morbid, you say, but the world out there is kinda scary to me too. It's a little like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, but applying it to a different context altogether.
Oh well, the affliction of growing up: being caught between freedom and security.
Don't know if this is the right way to feel, but I don't know what's stopping me too..
