and so it is.

I was up till late in the night, waiting for my brother to come home. He had gone to watch his first movie with Uncle, and I was excited. I kept glancing at the clock on the wall time and again, though I didn't know how to read the time; I just hoped that the needles did change in position everytime I looked up. That, to me, was enough. The assurance of time still moving was enough - details didnt bother me much at that age.

Then I heard the metallic sound of keys colliding with each other. Finally!

I begged my brother to tell me all about it, and this is what he told me: "I've learnt a bad word today".

After much pestering on my part, he told me what it was. At that moment, you could say that I lost some of my innocence. It was no fault of his though; I forced him to tell it to me. But something else, something unexpected desended upon me.

My innocence declined steadily from then on.

Now, I want it back, but nothing permits me to have it. You try to think innocently only when u've considered all those deceitful and thwarted thoughts. When u seem innocent, deep down u know its an act. You put much effort in loving all those around u equally, only to realise a great imbalance and ulterior motives behind it all. Worst still, the very last bit of your innocence may have just been sapped dry by others - by their actions of betrayal, by their evil. Worldly pressures force us to be aware of back-stabbing, hypocricy, favouritism and deception. Innocence is replaced by such devices; and the world, too proud of admitting to sin, has conveniently labelled these as devices of survival.

But who is to blame? Maybe the world, , maybe sin, maybe ourselves. One must realise that the blaming game is futile - we should look up for help instead.

After all, it is how u finish, not how u start, that counts.