keeping the faith.

When the day was being rainy, bryan, losh and i were watching a show called "Keeping the Faith". You know, those kinda shows that u rent when u randomly look through the dvd selection in the library. It was quite random indeed - we just borrowed it cos ben stiller was on the cover. And we all know he's funny.

But one scene stays in my mind.

Jake the rabbi (aka Ben Stiller) goes up to the pulpit and addresses his congregation. It is the day of atonement, a special day on the Jewish calendar. He goes up and states that he is not going to cram a year's worth of sermons into these few hours like most rabbis do; he wants to talk about something more personal. In front of at least a thousand people, he confesses that he is in love with a non-jewish girl. There're gasps and exclamations among the congregation. The respect of a thousand people stands still and fragile in that moment. Regardless of this, he goes on to apologize. He apologizes for not being the rabbi the congregation deserves. For many months, they have shared their problems with him, but he has never related his problems to them. They had faith in him, but he did not have faith in them. And so he says sorry.

When i ended the brief phone call with my mum, this scene flashed in my memory. Then i thought to myself: maybe this is where the problem lies. The double life.