don't wanna close my eyes.

This adoring heart of mine,
So tenderly naive
Just one word, one touch, and I believe
That this hopeless, fragile world
Will give us time to love
I'm reaching out into the blue
I hope my heart can find faith in u....

I don't want to sleep. I don't want to close my eyes and resign myself to exhaustion. I can't bring myself to let go of the magic of haven; and yet i'm losing grip on this fragile fairytale.

Who says fairytales ever had happy endings; who said that they would live happily ever after?

The show was great today, everyone was so high, screaming and laughing and singing along at the end of the show. Phototaking was good, and so was the pizza. But it was at 11pm, when all these died down, that i had time to reflect. I was lying on the field for an hr with bryan and oli, mostly singing songs or in silence. It felt so comforting lying on the ground, with the moon and stars above u. We were watching people leaving school for supper - i was just watching as u guys walked away, from the field to the roundabout, from the roundabout to the slope, and slowly away from my vision. I cannot describe the immense sadness then, because it was then that i realised haven has become a wonderful experience that i will treasure, but merely a memory, like a fossil engraved into a stone; to be buried forever and only remembered.

I don't think i'll ever see you again. But remember that even though i won't, please remember me for who i am.

Reality sinks in as i get up and walk towards the car. No more lying on the field to smell the roses, if there were any in the first place. Time to start working again, to move on. To move on.

How can i explain this? there're no more tears to shed, no more laughter to laugh. No more dreams to be fulfilled, no more fairytales to come true. Or to believe to come true. Foolish belief. I think i know what to do..no, i know what i need to do. I need to wake up and stop dreaming; dreaming only makes u suffer.

God help me to stop dreaming; to stop dreaming.


This hopeless, fragile world
will never give us time to love.

*chop chop* back to work people, back to to sickly routine of work.