i wish, i wish upon a star

We wish, we wish upon a star
that our wish comes true
We've waited so long.

I wish, i wish. I wish.
But wishes never come true; that's why they're called wishes.

I love haven so much. This adoring heart of mine, maybe tenderly naive, wishes that haven will never end. All the countless rehearsals in our new home, to orch pit (armpit!) were so so fun. The atmosphere, the people, the boredom during the director's shouts of "CUT!!!" and "ACTION!", sleeping and screaming in our new music room, the excitement before the performance, the wonderful music, the joy and humour of seeing the actors giving their best (and funniest) on stage, the audience laughing at the wrong times, the flowers, the smiles, the people.

Its all a fairytale. Quite a timely one indeed, because i need one now. One that sweeps me off my feet and up into the sky. One that takes my hand and runs away from my problems and failures with me, one that celebrates love and emotion, one that never looks back and lives for the moment.

But good things (or seemingly good things) always come with a catch; it being a loud thump on the ground, like how jeremy fell into the orch pit today, only 100 times more impactful.

*thump*: feeling like u failed, as if people don't trust u at all even if u trust them, feeling betrayed, hurt, heartbreak and shattered glass and mind. Anger, seeking attention, immense sadness, pride, being envious of things u will never have. Hopelessly doing what u're 'supposed' to do and not doing what majority says no to. Doing the wise things, hoping that they prove wise after all. Not knowing. Not loving. Not trusting. Burying oneself. Turning inwards.

Anyway, there's only myself to blame in the end.

Up, up and away to haven!

where love builds me a haven, with no bondage or carnage...